6/25/2025 9:13PM EST

This is my first post. This is going to be a blog that's just my stream of consciousness about my day to day life and past experiences. Not much here is going to be that serious unless I feel like being serious I guess. So here goes, but I'm not really sure what to write about.

Lately I have been feeling like I'm not able to do much at my job that fulfills me. I think it's because I'm not allowed to make my work the way I'd like to make it. And sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find a perfect role where I'll be able to do what I want the way I want to do it. It's likely a naive mindset but maybe I should pursue other things outside of work that can help me feel fulfillment and help others.

There is a part of me though that feels like I should just stick it out and trailblaze at my current job and help people understand how I think things should be done by example. I guess I'm afraid of rejection in that regard, because if people can't understand the way I do things then what do I have left? Maybe the way I want to do things will frustrate people. For some reason I have a hard time believing that if I get to execute my will that it's going to be appreciated by others.

I guess this belief is why I named my blog C-. It's somewhat of a testament to the feeling I have of myself in regards to my pursuits and what's expected of me.

So when I come back to right here it's going to be about my journey in changing this belief. Maybe if I document my thoughts about this somewhere it'll encourage me to make changesand maybe help others that are struggling with the same thoughts.

I'm starting to feel a little better about what I can do already. I'm 34 years old I still have a lot of life left in me and I live in the best time ever to create stuff.

Alright, fuck off now.